Separating is hard enough but when children are involved it can be tough. No doubt most parents think about the effects of their separation on their children before they head down that road but what can parents do to make sure that their children are OK after separation?
Unfortunately, there is no way of knowing for sure how children will cope following their parents’ separation and there is no set of rules that can be followed to make sure children remain happy but there are things parents can do to help alleviate stress on children during this phase.
Firstly, children need to be told and shown that they are loved and supported. This may be as simple as listening to your child’s feelings, showing support for their feelings and trying to be understanding (even if you don’t agree).
Secondly, making sure children have a sense of stability. It may be inevitable that children will move home but if they can continue doing things they normally enjoy this can encourage the sense of stability. For example, continuing their team sport etc.
Thirdly, not making your children take sides or be a party to the separation. This sounds easier than it is. Separating parents can at times struggle with this as they want to convince their children to stay with them or agree with them about issues that the parents are disagreeing about.
Instead of involving children in these issues, parents should seek the advice of professionals. Whether that is legal advice and/or the advice of a professional counsellor. Relationships Australia offers counselling services for parents and children. Call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277.
Disagreements About Children Separation can be even more difficult on children where parents are disagreeing about what will happen with the children after separation. Disagreements arise about a number of matters, including who the children will live with; how much time the children will spend with the other parent; relocating to other cities or countries; schooling or religious ideas etc.
Thankfully, many matters involving disagreements about children are able to be resolved through Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). Family Dispute Resolution involves the parties making a genuine effort to try to sort out their dispute with the assistance of a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (which is a type of mediator) and, if they choose, also their lawyers.
The law now requires separating families who have a dispute about children to attempt FDR before filing an application before the Court. This has proven to be good for families as close to 75% of all cases filed in the Family Court are at least partly resolved through this process. There are some exceptions to the FDR requirement, including where family violence is involved. FDR gives parents an opportunity to discuss openly their concerns and be given some guidance and options from the FDR Practitioner and their lawyers (if they choose).
Smithson Lawyers can assist you in the FDR process and help you to negotiate with your former partner the best solution for your children.